Episode #11: Velvet Pickle
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Special Notes: Poor penguins! From Werner Herzog’s Encounter at the End of the World.
Links of Interest:
• Bengali Tiger by Six Point Brewery is mighty yummy, if you enjoy IPAs.
• Animals with slightly faded color schemes who aren’t all out albino? For the most part, they’re leucistic. The white tiger, however, is a genetic mutation of the actual Bengali tiger.
• Listen to the panel Ming participated in with Chrissie Zullo and Janet Lee while the three were visiting Acme Comics in Greensboro, NC to celebrate the release of Womanthology!
• The Steampunk World’s Fair is sure to be a gas… or a STEAM!
• Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, we want to smell you!
• Caterpillars and penguins are delightful and mysterious in their ways.
• Alexa’s favorite flicks this week were Microcosmos and Million Dollar Mermaid, while Ming longs to someday see The Notorious Bettie Page.
• Healing Spices will teach you the tubular truth about turmeric!
• Young Romance: The Best of Simon & Kirby’s Romance Comics and Jim Henson’s Tale of Sand are Ming’s main read this week. And don’t forget to check out A.C. Gaughen’s Scarlet for a YA Robin Hood era romp!
• Speaking of YA, Alexa dug Five Children and It along with its sequel, The Phoenix and the Carpet, when she was a kidlet.
• Velvet Goldmine is the best. THE BEST. Here’s a board game Alexa and Ming began devising for the movie way back when they were wee freshmen in art school.
VELVET GOLDMINE board game
Players: Brian Slade, Curt Wild, Oscar Wilde
BRIAN:1. You witness your ‘Aunt’ doing ‘business’ with the theater’s proprietor.
2. You perform ‘Tutti Frutti’ on a makeshift stage in your living room. Your family is apathetic.
3. You grow up quite suddenly and dashingly. “Which are you, a mod or a rocker?” Roll 1,2,3,4, proceed three steps and become a Mod. Roll 5,6, proceed five steps and become a rocker.
4. Use dildo on self.
5. Break up with your girlfriend.
6. You are now modern and buy a Vespa. See that young lad? Yea, that one, with the shiny pocket watch? Follow him and bugger him senseless.
7. You become a nymphomaniac streetwalker in Birmingham. Roll 1,2,3,4: One night you catch the flu and die. Roll 5,6: You are rescued by a slightly older gentleman who brings you to a lovely little cottage.
8. Rocker, huh? You become swiftly and dashingly addicted to heroin. You lose half your body weight, which makes you irresistibly attractive the local pub manager. Your rampant alcoholism sets in. Go one space to rehab.
9. REHAB. Lose one turn.
10. You are an aspiring musician with hippie clothes and hair. You try to get into an exclusive glam nightclub. Admission is 5 bub. If you were a rocker/heroin addict, you don’t have it. Retire to a lovely little cottage with a slightly older gentleman. If you were a mod, you didn’t have to pay for rehab so you give the man your change and go in.
11. In the club you see Mandy and meet Jack Fairy. You steal Oscar Wilde’s pin and dance the night away. Advance 3 spaces to the Sombrero Club.
12. You do heroin again. Go back to REHAB.
13. Like a peppermint, eaten away, you choke on something and die.
14. SOMBRERO CLUB. Get noticed by an older gentleman. He swiftly buggers you and becomes your manager.
15. You develop an interest in astronomy. Trace a ladder to the stars with your unfiltered cigarette, trampishly.
16. You attempt suicide. Go to REHAB.
17. You go down like a knackered lift at a local rock festival. But you see the Wylde Rattz and Curt, and wish you had thought of it first. You will, Luv, you will, but not with this management.
18. Jerry Devine pins your manager! You perform ‘The Whole Shebang’ on ‘Top of the Pops.’ Advance 3 spaces.
19. Every girl in England is wearing glitter eye makeup, and a significant percentage of boys as well.
20. You drop your scarf whilst running. Go back two spaces and get it.
21. Photo shoot with Gerry Divine and Co.
22. SHANNON! Will you fight, will you swagger or sway? If you roll a 1, 2, 3: advance three spaces. 4, 5, 6: advance six spaces.
23. Who do you most fancy meeting in America, Brian?
24. Brian?! Who!?
25. CURT WILD!
26. After a rough day at the recording studio, you and Curt do heroin together. Go to REHAB. Lose 3 turns, but proceed to HOT SOULMATE SEX when you get out.
27. You and Curt are seen naked in bed together after the orgy.
28. You and Curt go to the amusement park and sing Satellite of Love.
29. You and Curt tongue-kiss until your face goes numb.
30. HOT SOULMATE SEX
31. You and Curt eat ice cream. Move back one space.
32. You get in a fight at the studio. Roll 1,2,3,4: advance one space. 5,6: advance two
33. Curt leaves you. You decide to fake your own death. Bad idea. Proceed two spaces.
34. You kiss and make up, congrats. You live happily ever after.
35. Sniff coke off Coco’s ass. Laugh at Mandy. Roll 1,2,3,4: become withdrawn from society, years later become Tommy Stone. 5,6: go find Curt and apologise. Go to HOT SOULMATE SEXCURT:
1. You are born in a trailer. Incest was perhaps involved, but you are still damn cute.
2. At age eleven you watch your siblings grabbing each other, playing in the sprinkler. You are strangely aroused.
3. You are caught in the loo at the service of your older brother.
4. They guarantee the treatment will fry the fairy clean out of you, but all it does is make you bonkers every time you hear electric guitar. Advance two spaces to music festival.
5. You become a heroin addict. Roll 1,2,3,4: advance one space. 5,6: two spaces
6. You cover yourself in oil and glitter and get noticed by Brian Slade.
7. Your heroin addiction gets out of control. Go to REHAB.
8. REHAB. Lose 5 turns, then proceed to SMOKY AMERICAN NIGHTCLUB.
9. SMOKY AMERICAN NIGHTCLUB. Brian Slade comes over and says hi. Have lunch with him the next day.
10. NEXT DAY. Decide you’d like Brian to be your main man. Oh yeah, and cut a record. Proceed to recording studio.
11. Recording studio. Roll 1,2,3,4: get angry and leave Brian, proceed to Death of Glitter. Roll 5,6: make up and finish the record and live happily ever after.
12. Death of Glitter. Love + Art = Tragedy. Make love to some kid on the roof as a spaceship flies by. Years later, recognize this same guy in a depressing barroom. He looks better now. Maybe you should give him a chance.OSCAR WILDE:
1. You are born on planet Stardust
2. Recognizing your potential, you are sent to Earth.
3. You want to be a pop idol.
4. You meet Michael Sheen. He’s alright, but you can do better.
5. You meet Ioan Gruffudd. Date him! Stay with him, for the love of God, he loves you and has a really cute hat!
6. Meet Jude Law. Lose your mind. Proceed directly to Gaol.
7. Reading Gaol. Write De Profundis.
8. Get out of Gaol. Die.












